If I wasnt such a pushover, I wouldnt have let anyone lead me around by the nose or noose. Doing exactly as anyone demands, giving them the right to assume what they think they know, allowing them to form unjust opinions. That is so me.
If you arent a pushover, I wouldnt have to be the bad guy in the picture. Time is precious, yet with those you said to be friends, time is wasting. Of course you wouldnt notice, because you invited them to be the saviours. You let them lead you around and you still claim supremacy over your entity.
Oh well, I lose on the pushover competition. I could have explained but I just cant be bothered. An opinion is formed. Angel you and Devil me. I can survive with that. Will build up Psy shields in the meantime. Somehow Protoccol Silence appeals to me right now.
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
The Unknown
Not everyone can know everything about everyone else. At least family and friends should know about one another. At least a lot more than others.
Whatever. I will be the zhai nv, since I am so suited for the role. Apparently. Typical characteristics include social hermit, extreme moods and I-do-not-give-a-damn-about-you attitude.
That way, no one or rather everyone will still have a comment. Yet I would already be a stereotype figure. The things said would be repetitive and not worth bothering about.
Peace and quiet. In my own world.
Guess I am harder to figure out than other people then. I like doing certain things, yet I would say I do not. I don’t like certain things, but I do it because I am good at it. So I am a difficult person to figure out. True.
Guess I don’t want others to figure me out. If they don’t know about me, yet they don’t bother to try, what is the point of letting them know? I am who I am. I can be loud and authoritative, yet I can be soft and un-intrusive. It just depends whether I can or cannot be bothered with the thing(s). If I care or I am concerned, I am the first. If I hardly care or I hate it, I am the latter. Is that so hard to figure out? I guess so.Whatever. I will be the zhai nv, since I am so suited for the role. Apparently. Typical characteristics include social hermit, extreme moods and I-do-not-give-a-damn-about-you attitude.
That way, no one or rather everyone will still have a comment. Yet I would already be a stereotype figure. The things said would be repetitive and not worth bothering about.
Peace and quiet. In my own world.
Monday, 19 December 2011
Me
What defines me?
After browsing through other people's blogs, I realised they all had their own style. Not just in blogging their lives and shit, but also in their way of dressing, talking and decorating their rooms.
What is my style?
Do I even have a style? Or am I mindlessly mimicking others? Am I even doing the copycat dance?
I dont have a room, I have the entire apartment to decorate to my liking (exception of kitchen and master bedroom). Yet all I see are blank walls and wall hooks with calendars (yes, calendars for the coming year) (I do not collect calendars of different years - so Not!).
Guess I am too lazy. I like to read, blog, slack and even organise things, as well as shop. I just like simple decorations aka blank walls!
Maybe I will experiment with decorating. I shall see what materials I have on hand. (Heehee, hands clapping and rubbing together)
As for dress style, I am still sticking to extremes. Either I am too lazy to dress up and I go with tees and jeans or I go all the way and dress like I am going somewhere. LOL.
I am preparing to clear the closet and usher in new clothes. Oh well, otherwise, I will go and buy a new closet. Either way, I need a place for sexy clothes. Clothes I chose for myself, recently. Heehee, lately I have a penchant for slutty clothes. Great, wonder how am I going to pull the look off back in school, or even am I able to wear those clothes to school.
I am just weird. Looking for an aim. Still.
After browsing through other people's blogs, I realised they all had their own style. Not just in blogging their lives and shit, but also in their way of dressing, talking and decorating their rooms.
What is my style?
Do I even have a style? Or am I mindlessly mimicking others? Am I even doing the copycat dance?
I dont have a room, I have the entire apartment to decorate to my liking (exception of kitchen and master bedroom). Yet all I see are blank walls and wall hooks with calendars (yes, calendars for the coming year) (I do not collect calendars of different years - so Not!).
Guess I am too lazy. I like to read, blog, slack and even organise things, as well as shop. I just like simple decorations aka blank walls!
Maybe I will experiment with decorating. I shall see what materials I have on hand. (Heehee, hands clapping and rubbing together)
As for dress style, I am still sticking to extremes. Either I am too lazy to dress up and I go with tees and jeans or I go all the way and dress like I am going somewhere. LOL.
I am preparing to clear the closet and usher in new clothes. Oh well, otherwise, I will go and buy a new closet. Either way, I need a place for sexy clothes. Clothes I chose for myself, recently. Heehee, lately I have a penchant for slutty clothes. Great, wonder how am I going to pull the look off back in school, or even am I able to wear those clothes to school.
I am just weird. Looking for an aim. Still.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
The Saga of Darren Shan
After watching The Vampire's Assistant, I went to gather the entire series of the books to read. Now, having read all the books, I am haunted by the last few scenes. I hope I can forget about the series after typing here.
Having lived for over sixteen years as a half-vampire, Darren Shan had witnessed deaths of many that he knew and did not know. At the fight with his ex best friend, Steve Leonard, he discovered that they were half brothers, sons of Desmond Tiny. To anger Tiny and to open up different possible futures, Darren killed and angered Steve so that he got killed too. Due to guilt, he ended up in the Lake of Souls. He was fished out into the future of hundreds of thousands years later. Dragons ruled and mankind were long gone. His long-ago friend Alan helped create the first dragon. Evanna, his half-sister, struck a deal and got Darren to go back as a Little Person for a short while. He helped reverse his own destiny, by scaring away young Darren Shan so that he never went to steal Madam Octa. Then he went to die on the rooftop, by himself.
By doing all that he did, he gave back Darren Shan his life and perhaps Steve's life as well. Having lived through all the pain and suffering at witnessing and participating in the deaths of many, he gave back young Darren Shan his innocence and his childhood.
It is a noble thing to do, so that Darren Shan will never know Larten Crepsley and all that that followed. He will also not know that he isnt Dermot Shan's son.
All's well end well. Yet I cant helped being haunted by these last few scenes since I read through the life of the noble Darren Shan as a half-vampire. He was about to become a full vampire, one worthy of being a Prince, then he threw his life away. He will never know Debbie Hemlock, Harkat Mulds, Vancha March, Seba Nile and Paris Skyle.
Sure, this is good for the young and innocent Darren Shan. Yet I feel sorry for the old Darren Shan because he died young and alone. Perhaps that is why I feel sad and scared.
Guess I should feel better after having typed it out. Best to read another series to wash this series away.
Goodbye Darren Shan, Larten Crepsley and all those in the series. Best of luck in refuting Desmond Tiny's tampering.
Having lived for over sixteen years as a half-vampire, Darren Shan had witnessed deaths of many that he knew and did not know. At the fight with his ex best friend, Steve Leonard, he discovered that they were half brothers, sons of Desmond Tiny. To anger Tiny and to open up different possible futures, Darren killed and angered Steve so that he got killed too. Due to guilt, he ended up in the Lake of Souls. He was fished out into the future of hundreds of thousands years later. Dragons ruled and mankind were long gone. His long-ago friend Alan helped create the first dragon. Evanna, his half-sister, struck a deal and got Darren to go back as a Little Person for a short while. He helped reverse his own destiny, by scaring away young Darren Shan so that he never went to steal Madam Octa. Then he went to die on the rooftop, by himself.
By doing all that he did, he gave back Darren Shan his life and perhaps Steve's life as well. Having lived through all the pain and suffering at witnessing and participating in the deaths of many, he gave back young Darren Shan his innocence and his childhood.
It is a noble thing to do, so that Darren Shan will never know Larten Crepsley and all that that followed. He will also not know that he isnt Dermot Shan's son.
All's well end well. Yet I cant helped being haunted by these last few scenes since I read through the life of the noble Darren Shan as a half-vampire. He was about to become a full vampire, one worthy of being a Prince, then he threw his life away. He will never know Debbie Hemlock, Harkat Mulds, Vancha March, Seba Nile and Paris Skyle.
Sure, this is good for the young and innocent Darren Shan. Yet I feel sorry for the old Darren Shan because he died young and alone. Perhaps that is why I feel sad and scared.
Guess I should feel better after having typed it out. Best to read another series to wash this series away.
Goodbye Darren Shan, Larten Crepsley and all those in the series. Best of luck in refuting Desmond Tiny's tampering.
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Holiday
Almost half the holiday has passed and I have not done a lot!
Tasklist:
Oh, what the hell.
One month of holiday before hell. Or have I already dipped my feet into the hellfire?
Tasklist:
- Organise and clean my designated areas (living room, my room and my 'storeroom')
- Throw away or donate unwanted stuff
- Sell my books and discs
- Set up website for point 3
- Start on Collection Two (shopping and photoshoot)
- Reading novels, Movie watching and Handicrafting
- Check out what skills to pick up
- Purchase textbooks to read in advance for next term
- Find out why my place is messier after I throw away some stuff :p
Oh, what the hell.
One month of holiday before hell. Or have I already dipped my feet into the hellfire?
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